Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
!!!!!!!!!!!!!Smile Please but Carefully...........!!!!!!!!!!!!! + 18
* Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne
aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat
ka khayal Aata hai!
* Ek Mandir k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap
kar k thak gaye wo meri
sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh
diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan
me aaye.
* Marry and make a woman happy OR
remain a bachelor and make several
women happy!
* A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's
father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
* Teacher class mein apne baby ko
doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela
beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do
hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
* How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in
the bathroom and puts his ear to
the keyhole instead of his eye!
* Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC
police ne rok k puchha:
Aap kahelmet kahan hai? Fine lagega
.Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche,
4 wheeler hai !
* Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki
aunty se lay aana.
* Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki
dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati,
or Sarasvati hai.
Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar
karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.
* Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a
second Hand Tata Nano
Car........preferab ly with Gas Kit!!!
* What's the biggest pressure for Pak
captain when Pak needs 1 run to
win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in
presentation ceremony?
* Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki
main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya
te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa,
jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
* 10% of road accidents are due to
drunken driving. Which makes it a
logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without
drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke
* Banta: How do you say Topless in
Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM...
* There are only 5 things we need in life:
Good friends, Good job,
Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK.
Whatever u are thinking... is right.
* Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se
junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se
paisa, Paise se izzat.Isliye Izzatdar wohi
hai jo Daru pita hai !
* Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha,
asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue
Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
Bidi Piyegi ?
* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
* When things go wrong, when sadness
fills your heart, when tears
flows from your eyes always say these
words... Eh Ganpat, chal darula...
* Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND
ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat
kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.
* Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the
Indian Cricket Team: WhisperUltra
..BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is
undergoing its worst PERIOD!
* In order to get 100/100 in life, a man
requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the
remaining is only 36-24-36
* Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte
hai????????? ??
JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......
* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai
kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first
century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
* Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-
hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap
le gaye!
* An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke
din kum.
* Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla
totti aata hai, khane ko man
nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti
aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana
* Food for thought: Why to suffer trying
by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when
most beautiful things in life
we do naked.
* Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di
* Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do
Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do
* Mallika went to a swimming pool in a
BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is
not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
* Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to
baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV
chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
ka hi hota hai.
* Q: Which boy has the permission to get
into a girls' bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.
* A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why
are u wearing ur belt aroun
dur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't
let you touch me below my belt.
aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat
ka khayal Aata hai!
* Ek Mandir k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap
kar k thak gaye wo meri
sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh
diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan
me aaye.
* Marry and make a woman happy OR
remain a bachelor and make several
women happy!
* A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's
father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
* Teacher class mein apne baby ko
doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela
beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do
hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
* How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in
the bathroom and puts his ear to
the keyhole instead of his eye!
* Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC
police ne rok k puchha:
Aap kahelmet kahan hai? Fine lagega
.Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche,
4 wheeler hai !
* Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki
aunty se lay aana.
* Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki
dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati,
or Sarasvati hai.
Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar
karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.
* Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a
second Hand Tata Nano
Car........preferab ly with Gas Kit!!!
* What's the biggest pressure for Pak
captain when Pak needs 1 run to
win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in
presentation ceremony?
* Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki
main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya
te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa,
jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
* 10% of road accidents are due to
drunken driving. Which makes it a
logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without
drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke
* Banta: How do you say Topless in
Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM...
* There are only 5 things we need in life:
Good friends, Good job,
Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK.
Whatever u are thinking... is right.
* Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se
junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se
paisa, Paise se izzat.Isliye Izzatdar wohi
hai jo Daru pita hai !
* Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha,
asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue
Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
Bidi Piyegi ?
* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
* When things go wrong, when sadness
fills your heart, when tears
flows from your eyes always say these
words... Eh Ganpat, chal darula...
* Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND
ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat
kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.
* Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the
Indian Cricket Team: WhisperUltra
..BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is
undergoing its worst PERIOD!
* In order to get 100/100 in life, a man
requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the
remaining is only 36-24-36
* Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte
hai????????? ??
JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......
* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai
kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first
century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
* Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-
hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap
le gaye!
* An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke
din kum.
* Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla
totti aata hai, khane ko man
nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti
aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana
* Food for thought: Why to suffer trying
by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when
most beautiful things in life
we do naked.
* Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di
* Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do
Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do
* Mallika went to a swimming pool in a
BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is
not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
* Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to
baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV
chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
ka hi hota hai.
* Q: Which boy has the permission to get
into a girls' bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.
* A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why
are u wearing ur belt aroun
dur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't
let you touch me below my belt.
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